Promises, Promises

Steve Raybine

Blog # 7;

Promises, Promises

Have you ever been promised a gig with a band only to have it never materialize? How about a tour that fell through even though it was a 'sure thing?' Did anyone ever promise you a recording session, but it mysteriously faded into oblivion? These and other similar ill-fated scenarios happen all the time within the music business. Are people overtly lying to you or are you just the recipient of bad luck? Perhaps we should examine these situations more closely in order to flesh-out the truth or non-truth as it were.

After 30 years in the music business, I think I've perhaps heard it all. I can remember 6 different tours of Japan that were promised to my band during my twenties that all fell through--Yikes! How could I have been so naive? Of course, most performing musicians have been promised a gig they wanted, only to have it fall through. And, many musicians lost out on a recording session they counted on, but it didn't work out for one reason or another. So, what's the deal?

1.) Promising people something they want is a time-honored tradition in business, and music is a business--don't forget that! This methodology keeps people interested in you and/or their services and possibly their product. Many times the offer is legitimate and falls through for unforeseen circumstances. However, sometimes it's a way to 'string-you-along,' so that you remain invested (in some capacity) with the person or the organization. So, is the person being disingenuous with you? Maybe yes, maybe no? If you recognize a pattern of failed business ventures with certain people, I recommend you look elsewhere for business opportunities--you're wasting your time and mental energy.

2.) Unfortunately, some people make promises that have no truth value whatsoever. They'll say anything just to get you off their back. Then, you fall into the "waiting mode," only to become disappointed when things don't materialize with that person. Don't let yourself be deceived, nor become so gullible that you'll naively believe whatever people tell you regardless of the truth value. When you're young or new to the business world, one tends to be overly eager and perhaps somewhat desperate for things to happen immediately in one's career. Many times, things or circumstances you want to happen do so gradually over time. I've always said, "Patience is its own reward." Waiting for something you truly want is never easy, but that may be, and probably is, the reality of the situation. Moreover, things may still not work out over time--there's rarely a guarantee for the contemporary freelance musician.

3.) Some people make promises because they just don't have it within themselves to give you sad or unfortunate news. It is really not their intention to lie to you, give you false hope or to 'string-you-along' per se,'-- they are simply unable to tell you to your face that something you want to have happen, just isn't going to work out between the two of you or between you and their organization. I know, big bummer! "Why can't they just be straight with me and tell me the truth?" Why, because they just can't--they don't deal with potential conflict well. They probably don't want to hurt your feelings or to disappoint you. Heck, maybe they even like you and don't want to damage the relationship. I've come to believe that many people are truly incapable of telling someone bad news and then having to deal with the inevitable awkward situation that follows. Let's face it, none of us wants to hear bad news (you're not going on the tour; you lost the gig; the recording session fell through; I can't play on your CD; etc.) or be the person telling someone bad news. I actually had some anonymous record executive from New York City once tell me that I should "thank him" for telling me that he wasn't interested in signing me to a recording deal--he obviously was the polar opposite of those individuals who go out of their way to avoid telling you unpleasant news. Wow!

Disappointment is a reality within the music business--there's really no way to avoid it if you stay in it long enough. How you deal with disappointment and whether you allow yourself to be manipulated or duped by certain people and circumstances are the critical factors here. I make it a habit of being honest with people in a kind, respectful and direct manner--I don't want someone to tell other people that my word is not reliable. Hopefully, you won't become so cynical that you never trust anyone--that's not good, either. However, I encourage you to accurately assess the situation and to see it for what it truly is, which by the way, can be difficult. Generally, people's motives and circumstances reveal themselves overtime, so be optimistically cautious--not overly naive, which I was when I first entered the music business.

Copyright 2009 Steve Raybine

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