How Realistic Are Your Goals?

Steve Raybine:

Blog #5;



How Realistic Are Your Goals?



Ever since I've been a young boy, I've been encouraged by my parents (particularly my father, Art) to be a goal-oriented person. The following would be representative of my short- and long-term goals:


1.) How good am I becoming as a musician and can I achieve my standards of musical excellence?


2.) How much am I achieving academically and can I become a superior student?


3.) What kind of athlete am I capable of being and can I be reasonably competitive with other athletes my age?


4.) Am I capable of becoming an excellent public speaker and how will this impact my future career plans?


5.) Will I ever earn my Bachelor's (B.M.); Master's (M.M.) and Doctorate (D.M.A.) degrees in music?


6.) Can I become a music teacher worthy of inspiring students?


7.) Will I ever get a recording contract?


8.) Will my music ever be played on radio stations?


9.) Will I achieve national prominence as a jazz performer and composer?


10.) Am I capable of being the type of husband and father that puts my family first before all other considerations?


These are but a few of the goals that were imposed upon me as a young boy and many that I imposed upon myself throughout the years.



As an only child, it seems that I was always competing for something or against someone from an early age. I was always expected to be outstanding at everything I did, which of course, is not theoretically possible (my wife, Beth, will be happy to share with you my inability to fix things--alas, no carpenter). However, as a young man, that didn't stop me from going the extra mile to excel at many things including music; sports; academics; public speaking; being a leader; etc. I developed a lifestyle that predated the select 'everything' contemporary child, which many of us have come to know all too well. Ultimately, I channeled my career energies primarily into music, which hasn't changed much over the last 40 years. For the most part, I've been pretty successful in music (I won't bore you with my BIO) and still remain a competitive goal-seeking individual. Setting goals and being achievement-oriented has defined me and is probably the reason I've accomplished as much as I have during my lifetime. However, were my goals realistic and was this process always the best way to achieve happiness and fulfillment in life?





Over time, I have found that different things and methods inspire people to pursue their dreams and goals. For some folks, it is best to not overtly push them in any one direction--they prefer to find their own way in life and to pursue or alternatively, not pursue specific goals. In their case, they determine what innately appeals to them. The expectations of someone else imposing their will upon them is not relevant...and not appreciated. Conversely, there are people like myself, who were pushed/challenged/motivated to excel at various things--some to their liking and some not. These people either embraced this more overt methodology or rejected it--there wasn't much middle ground in this approach.






Some of my goals that I set for myself in music were attainable, while others seem far more elusive and impractical in hindsight. For instance:


#1.) It was ultimately within my power to increase my skills as a performer and composer--these were reasonable goals.





#2.) Obtaining my Bachelor of Music and Master of Music degrees was definitely achievable, but the Doctorate in Music degree was extremely difficult. It took all of my determination and self-discipline to complete this goal both musically and academically. Writing the bulk of my doctoral dissertation for seven hours each evening for nine consecutive months was a terrible ordeal. Did I mention that I wrote for seven hours after I worked all day? Wow!





#3.) Becoming an inspiring and worthwhile teacher was within my grasp, but I certainly had to work long and hard at becoming an effective communicator that understood the needs of each of my students (my oratorical skills have been a tremendous asset to me as an educator and performer).




#4.) Obtaining a recording contract (in my mid-twenties) was somewhat unrealistic given the illogical and unpredictable nature of the music business, but I did manage to fulfill that goal.





#5.) Getting my music on radio was also an elusive and impractical goal in hindsight, but I'm proud to say that my music has been played on over 130 radio and internet stations worldwide. Getting your music played on radio is exceedingly difficult--don't ever underestimate the complexity of radio programming.




#6.) Becoming a prominent jazz artist and composer within my field was perhaps the most difficult of all my musical goals I set out to achieve. However, I am a jazz vibist that is sponsored as an artist and clinician with one of the premier mallet-percussion instrument manufacturers worldwide (Musser, a division of the Conn-Selmer Music Corp.); I have a mallet endorsement deal with Mike Balter Mallets, one of the most prestigious mallet companies worldwide; I've performed at numerous (prominent) jazz venues and festivals; my music has been well-represented on radio stations; I record on my own record label (Bad Kat Records); I've received prestigious reviews and press from around the world as a performer and composer; etc. So, although I've attained many of my musical goals and many people consider me quite successful as a musician, I still have goals I set for myself as a younger person that I'd like to achieve. Again, considering the unpredictable, illogical, over-saturated and fiercely competitive nature of the music industry, it was naive of me to think that attaining every musical goal was going to be a slam dunk. Nonetheless, I'm proud of what I've achieved thus far in music.



One of the other goals I previously mentioned (and the most important one) was becoming an admirable and loving marital partner for my wife, Beth, and father to my two sons, David and Sam. For any parent, maintaining a healthy, prominent and loving presence in your children's lives is an on-going journey. Although, I know that I'm imperfect, as most parents are, I have been a diligent and devoted father for 19 years now. I adore my sons and like most parents I know, love my children unconditionally. I've been married, successfully I believe, for 21 years and I'm proud of that. My family has enriched my life in every way possible and I hope that I've fulfilled my responsibilities to them. This goal is a never-ending goal, as it needs daily maintenance and care–you can never compromise or quit on this goal because of what's at stake.





In summation: however you set your goals or rather, don't set your goals, living your life with a balanced outlook and degree of practicality is ultimately recommended. Perhaps I wouldn't have achieved things that I have, had I not been somewhat naive and impractical in my thought process. However, I'm not sure some of my goal-setting examples should serve as a role model as they've taken a toll on me over time. Alternatively, many of my goals were and are life-affirming. By the way, I became a competent athlete, but nothing truly outstanding.





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